[ s h o t s ] The Skies Are Ever Changing

A BALANCING ACT

The second half of this year has begun. I am amazed at the changes that the last three years have brought in my life. Some are welcome changes while some just…happened.

Right now I am still finding my bearings -

I started studying part-time while juggling a full-time job.
I have my once a week Korean classes.
I still want to continue blogging and writing.
I want to meet my friends at least once a month

SAYING GOODBYE

There are many things I have let go off. People I’ve gotten close to, roles that I am used to doing, responsibilities that I am used to fulfilling. It’s not with pain and tears that I have let them go. But at this season on my life, I have to prioritize – not that they weren’t important.

My goals may have changed. My direction may have altered. But my destination still remains the same. I am just taking a different route.

ACCEPTING A NEW SEASON

To be honest this past few months have been hard on me. I have been exploring and experimenting a lot. But it has left me even more confused. There are days when I just want to be left alone, to figure things out without the different voices that clamor for my attention.

When stripped to the bare minimum I realize two things. The first is that the previous two years were more on EXPERIENCING while this next season of my life is LEARNING.

EXPERIENCING

Volunteering at Singapore Writers Festival and meeting F. Sionil Jose (one of my literary inspirations), being a photographer for press conferences and showcases, performing in a pub, writing a play for a youth camp, being an assistant team leader for another youth camp, there were so many things that I have experienced. Most recently I was able to watch one of my favourite Japanese rock bands – ONE OK ROCK perform here in Singapore. This was my first time standing with a few hundred people swaying our heads to the music, the songs catapulting us into a new dimension. I had aches and was sore all over but it was definitely one of the most impacting moments of my life.
Last year and the start of this year was full of things to experience – particularly feeding my interest in music (KOREAN AND JAPANESE) and musicals (WICKED, LION KING, BIBAP). But this will take a backseat because right now I feel that it’s time for me to dig deep in the well of knowledge.

LEARNING

As much as my time allows, I want to go on workshops and lessons. Right now I have to cut back on going for workshops since I already have a full plate with my part-time studies and Korean classes. I  am a firm believer in improving oneself so I am striving towards getting the fullest experience in my education. Aside from that I made a list of things that I want to learn – both new and present skills that I want to improve on.

But this of course needs more time, so I am also learning how to manage my time effectively. Time management isn’t one of my strongest suits and in just a week I have fallen sick trying to cope with a full schedule.

Aside from this I want to learn how to strengthen my faith. I want to be a rock that won’t be shaken. I am human and there’s just not much I can do with my own strength.

But I will hold on to His promise, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need.My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”

[ r e f l e c t i o n ] FAITH in 2011

This is the final part of my Words for 2011, the first word was FOCUS, then there was FANGIRL and now I want to talk about FAITH.

You didn’t raise me to abandon me now
You hear my heart as I let out a shout

- Nikki Fletcher

Last year I’ve been blessed more than I could ask, think or imagine. There were countless of surreal moments that happened last year, and I would only hope and pray that this year will be even more breathtaking and fun as 2011, but with the lesser drama.

The start of the year I experienced a lot of things that threw me into an emotionally charged roller coaster ride. I am glad that through prayers and help from dear friends I was able to weather the storms that passed through my life.

To live without any spiritual guidance or spiritual connection is unfathomable to me. Having faith, hope and love are the essential elements to enjoy life and to be resilient when things do not go as planned.

I hope that my faith and relationship with God will grow stronger. That I will always remember who He is to me and not just what He has done for me.

[ s e e n + h e a r d ] Public Garden Saturday

Hello! I know it has been awhile since I last blogged, I was really super busy lately. I hope to resume my regular blogging schedule for the next months of the year.

Last Saturday I dropped by at the Goodman Arts Centre for the first Public Garden flea of 2012. To be honest I was there mainly for the wonderful baked goodies from { S A D I E  R O S E } , here I am with Sarah! Her cookie mustache is adorable! My friend and I bought Earl Grey and Lemon muffins, slices of Banana Maple cake (I hope I got the name right), Red Velvet cake and Chocolate cake and a Caramel cupcake. We were so tempted to sample everything on the table but our waistlines were begging us for some reprieve with all the rich goodies!

I should have taken a picture of the cakes but I had no time – once it came out of the box it vanished straight to our tummies – but here’s the Earl Grey Lemon muffin. I think it was a muffin – can you tell that I have zero idea on how to tell  baked goodies apart? I only know one thing – everything from Sadie Rose is delicious!

Here I am with the lovely Sandy of the Cookie Cutter blog, she is one of the prettiest and nicest person I’ve met on the web. She also inspires me with her well-written posts over on her blog about her travels and also the quirky items she produces! So glad to chat with her for a bit! She also writes her own zine, and I am a proud of owner of both of her releases .

With the little time I had I managed to buy my staple flea market must-buys  – PAPER GOODS! The LetterBox Project will be resurrected soon so I bought some awesome cards from Ong Hwee Yen:

This gorgeous notebook was from Kariton by 1372 Designs. This is made of kraft paper I think and I was pleased with the concept they had – recycling to create paper products. I love the hand-drawn print on this notebook and in keeping with the nature theme of the cards above I chose the one with the tree on the cover.

Though I spent a short time at Public Garden, it was a wonderful Saturday for me to have met these women who inspire me to pursue a creative life and to also to get to know some of the incredibly talented makers in Singapore. Really can’t wait for the next Public Garden flea!

[ r e f l e c t i o n ] FOCUS in 2011

Once the new year approaches, I have the habit of reflecting on what has happened during the year. It is something I started practicing the first year that I was in Singapore. Looking back, the previous year can be summed up in three words: FOCUS, FAITH & FANGIRL. This post will be all about FOCUS.

“It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.”

- Anthony Robbins

 

LAST YEAR

2011 was the year that my focus became a little less hazy. I realize what I love doing and what I don’t, what I say yes to and it has made a big difference in my life.

Having no focus during the first half of the year made me feel irritable and frustrated. I felt like I was spinning out of control but couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made me angry. It was as if I was in the eye of the storm, everything around me was being destroyed but I was still apathetic. I now understand that it was the fear in me that stopped me from focusing. The fear of focusing on the wrong thing – thoughts like failure plagued me.

Writing, Volunteering and Photography were my main points of interest this year while Blogging and Crafting took a back seat. I am so thankful for the opportunities that were opened to me and I feel that because of these open doors I was able to meet people who have inspired me to embrace myself and do what I love.

The clarity that I received while working through different projects with different people gave me a clearer purpose. Making tough decisions were easier for me because I have a firmer grasp on what I want.

THIS YEAR

I still would want to incorporate Blogging and Crafting in my life. I just love to create and be with people. I think I need to achieve the perfect balance between Self, Creativity and Community.

I value my solitude and my time to create. But my social commitments usually eat away most of the time I should be spending creating and just nurturing myself. I hope to be more precise with my focus and really learn how to say “NO”. Stop having the Superwoman Syndrome, like running out all the time trying to fix things.

I will strive for balance in all my interests and commitments. That is my hope for this year.

[ r e v e r b ] Those Sweeping Flashbacks

WHAT WERE YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS?

{source}

A mix of old and new. I listened to a lot of 90s English songs, and a bit of clubbing songs. My interest in Jpop/Jrock has waned and with my attachment to an epic historical mainland drama (what a mouthful!), there is an equal number of Mandarin and Japanese songs. My favourite Korean groups and singers have been busy this year so there’s still quite a number of Korean songs on my list.

ENGLISH/FRENCH:

I Believe in You ( Il Divo feat Celine Dion), I Got You (Leona Lewis), The Call & Better (Regina Spektor), Brave (Idina Menzel), Crawling (Superchick), Cannonball (Vienna Teng), A Drop in the Ocean (Ron Pope), Sympathique (Pink Martini), Concrete Angel (Martina McBride), Merry Happy (Kate Nash), Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen (Baz Luhrmann),If I Fell In Love  & Hey Jude (Beatles),Hello Alone (Anberlin), Singing Over Me (Kari Jobe), Only Exception (Paramore), Grenade & Count on Me (Bruno Mars), What Makes You Beautiful (One Direction).

The One Direction song is the most memorable because it is attached to a lot of happy memories for me for 2011:

KOREAN/MANDARIN/JAPANESE:

International Love Song (The Black Skirts), Airbag (Tablo), Strong (Park Kyung feat PO), Still Fly (ZICO), Tell Them (Block B), Tonight & Love Song & Stupid Liar (Big Bang), I Am the Best & Lonely (2NE1), Can You Hear My Heart (Infinite), A Goose’s Dream (Hyorin), 君がいるから (AYAKA),Cherish (NEWS), Hello (YUI), 一念執著 (胡歌 & 阿兰·达瓦卓玛), 三寸天堂 ( 严艺丹), 我們都傻 (楊丞琳). 

And since my love for 步步惊心 trumps all other Asian dramas I watched  this year, I can’t believe I’m actually sharing a video of 一念執著 (A Persistent Thought).

WHO DID YOU MISS?

University of the Philippines-Manila, BS Occupational Therapy Block 20 (2006)

More than ever I miss my friends from university – somehow they managed to get me and accept me. And it’s not just the nostalgia talking. I missed them so bad the first year that I came to Singapore, after that it waned and this year I found myself missing them even more. No culture gap or generation gap or even wavelength gap, we were all sorts of crazy but managed to meld together into a cohesive group. They are a super intelligent yet super fun bunch of people.

I miss aimlessly walking along Roxas Boulevard talking the night away. The food trips, the out of town trips -  I miss mainly the conversations I’ve had with them. I miss them so much my heart aches. I want to visit them soon!

WHEN DID YOU TAKE THE EASY WAY?

{source}

I don’t believe that there is an easy way. Or maybe I just grew up with not taking shortcuts or escaping the inevitable. Hard work pays off that’s what my parents have always taught me, and the rewards are more fulfilling.

For me, taking the easy way was when I gave in to my frustrations and snapped at people. Even when I push myself to become a better person – tolerant and understanding , there are just circumstances or people who bring out the worst in me. Blowing up in anger or venting out my frustrations on others when I could have been more understanding, more loving and more considerate is taking the easy way. There are things I’ve said and done which I am not proud of, and I hope that as the years progress I don’t make the same mistakes.

 

WHERE DID YOU EAT?

{source}

I am so fortunate to work around the Katong area. Whatever craving I may have it is just a walk or not more than four bus stops away from my office. There’s the Korean restaurant – I just cross the street and I can get my fill of bibimbap or tteokbokki. Not to mention two ice cream cafes that’s a mere ten minute walk from the office. A great selection of Western, India, Penang, Hong Kong,Japanese, Filipino and local Singapore cuisine and of course the  famous Katong Laksa. There’s Awfully Chocolate, and a ramen place at the newly opened Katong 112.

Not to mention Arnold’s Chicken at City Plaza in Paya Lebar – the most sinful fried chicken I ever tasted. Four bus stops away from my office is the Old Airport Road Food Centre – for the best bean curd and a wide array of affordable yet delicious food! I go there  for the pasta!

My good friend C brought me to a restaurant at Novena that serves Penang food, and I fell in love with Penang Laksa. So hearty and the right blend of spicy and sour, just thinking about it makes me drool!

WHICH BLOGS DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST?

I enjoyed a lot of blogs but here are the blogs that I keep frequenting the whole year of 2011 – so much inspiration!

Mr. Kate

iHanna

A Beautiful Mess

Oh My Handmade

Awkward and Beautiful

Tumblr

WHEN DID YOU CELEBRATE?

There were a lot of things to celebrate about, but my birthday celebration was the most memorable for me. It was the first time planning for my own birthday party – it was a lot of stress but I was happy. There were friends who helped me plan it and friends who made the atmosphere so fun that there wasn’t a dull moment.

I invited those who were very close to my heart and to have them there on my special day made me feel so blessed and loved.

Yay! I’m almost done with Reverb 2011 ~ Thank you for staying tuned!

[ r e v e r b ] Matters of the Heart and Mind

I am on a roll with the Reverb 2011 posts, mainly because I want to finish at least ONE blogging project!

WHAT DID YOU ACCOMPLISH?

{source}

performing at a talent show. writing two short stories. pulling off my own birthday party celebration. getting a full-time job. playing with analogue cameras. writing a script for a drama that was well-received. watching a musical. scoring tickets for dance performances and concerts. getting to volunteer at Singapore Writer’s Festival. starting the LetterBox Project. having photography gigs. sending off lots of packages for swap-bot. winning for the extraordinary challenge.

WHEN WERE YOU THE MOST GRATEFUL?

I am having problems with the superlative word “MOST” probably because I can’t pinpoint the time that I was MOST GRATEFUL this 2011.

I was grateful when my Permanent Resident Status renewal was approved.

I was grateful to volunteer at the Singapore Writers Festival.

I was grateful for the opportunity to represent my department at the talent show.

I was grateful when I met and talked to F. Sionil Jose.

I was grateful for the chance to watch performances like Lion King the Musical, Cirque d’ Eloise, and Alp Bora.

I was grateful to my friends who made my birthday party possible.

I was grateful to plan and host the department’s Christmas party.

I was grateful for the opportunity to write the script for the GLO Drama.

I was grateful to become the Assistant Team Manager for the Greenades during the Extraordinary Challenge.

I was super grateful when our team won.

I am grateful for the new friends that I made.

I am grateful for friends who have stuck with me.

I am grateful for my awesome job.

There are a lot of things that I am grateful for, and I can only say that at whatever point in my life, I am always MOST grateful that I am alive.

WHO TOUCHED YOUR HEART?

{source}

Samantha. Clarisse. Raisa. Esther. Pauline. Manfen. Santy. Alfred. Hui Yan. Joey. Angie. Shawwn. Kimberly. Caiwen. Seow Shi. Alicia. Vivian. Shirley. Joey (another Joey!). Jourden. Zihao. Celine. Jessica. Christine. Xiao Ping. Barbie. Shin Ae. Andy. Li Lyn. Loewe. Deborah. Anna. Carisse. Fia. Family.

WHERE DID YOU VISIT?

Universal Studios Singapore. National Museum of Singapore. Sentosa. Changi Airport. SUNTEC. Singapore Art Museum. Singapore Management University. The ArtScience Museum. Katong. Jurong Point. Marina Bay Sands.

These are the places I went to have rehearsals, have fun, learn more about art, meet people and eat and eat and eat. I had more chances to visit museums – which is something that I want to replicate in the next year!

WHEN DID YOU CRY?

{source}

Lion King the Musical. Alp Bora. the last two episodes of  步步惊心 . my quarrel with S (this was the chest-tightening kind). after I messed up my performance at the talent show. when I was frustrated. when in meditation and prayer. when watching sad news.

As my friends always say, I am emotionally rich which basically means I feel too much. I noticed that as I grew older it has become easier for me to cry along in movies or dramas, and even be moved by musical performances that I am reduced to tears afterwards. I attribute it to getting older – as I go through more circumstances and gain experiences, it is easier for me to draw the same emotions that an actor or piece of work wants to convey. Tears are my outlet when I am frustrated because they’re not destructive. I would love to diffuse my anger through Hollywood’s smashing-plates-on-walls  tactic, but I don’t have the luxury of a clean-up crew.

WHERE DID YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?

Libraries, cafes, museums, my church and my workplace are the places I spent most of my time with aside from home. Though this year will probably be the year I spent lesser time at home, I spent most of my year on buses, trains and cabs going from one place to another. This is the year that I became more adept at traveling around Singapore.

Bras Basah MRT Station has been like my second home – during the Singapore Writers Festival, rehearsing for the GLO Drama, meeting for the Extraordinary Challenge. It was also the MRT station that brought me to the museums and favourite haunts like Cat Socrates.

Next year, I hope to spend more time at home. To tinker with my crafting stuff, to write more and to just rest a whole lot more!

[note: images are my own unless a source is indicated. please do credit images correctly. also, if I failed to properly credit an image source please do inform me.]

[ r e v e r b ] A Merry Christmas!

 

Happy Christmas everyone!

I hope the Fatty …erm,..Festive Season has brought great cheer (or in my case lots of pounds!) to everybody. There were a lot of things that I have been busy with that I couldn’t really continue blogging Reverb 2011.  But here I am trying to finish well.

WHO WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

Aside from my family, my different circle of friends have always been close to my heart. From my cellgroup family, my subzone chums and even ex-colleagues, also not to mention my fan girlfriends – occupy their respective (and revolving) space in my heart. But I think the person I cherished most of all this year was myself.

As someone who suffers from Wonder Woman Syndrome, the need to focus on meeting other people’s needs always takes a toll on me. I get burned out and sometimes resentful. This year was no different, but slowly I have learned to look for warning signs and to say “NO”. There were some hard truths I had to face, like I can’t always be there for everybody and that I am just one person. I think that this year I have learned more about boundaries I can cross and boundaries that are drawn for my own well-being.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO REMEMBER?

I hope to remember that I am a strong person. I hope to remember the kindness of others, and the opportunities that were opened to me. I hope to remember that I am strong and resilient. I hope to remember all the times that God has shown His love and mercy towards me. I hope to remember the times that I laughed and even the times that I cried – because of these experiences I grew into a better person.

WHERE DID YOU SPEND MONEY?

Cab fares – which is actually a testament of how busy I was. Cab fares aside, I spent most of my money for creative ventures. Like buying supplies and equipment. I am most proud of checking off items in my wishlist, I feel more of an adult.

That said, I also spent my money on presents and eating out. Building relationships is something that I am most concerned with, aside from the gift of time, I also like to share a meal with my friends or make something for them. For me, there’s nothing more fulfilling than being generous to others.

WHEN WERE YOU MOST SCARED?

I am bad at remembering negative stuff, so this question took me time to answer. The moment that I was most scared would be the time when I was renewing my Permanent Resident status, and the Immigration people asked me for extra documentation. This scared me because among my family members, I was the only they asked for extra documents. I didn’t want to lose my PR status or leave Singapore. My mind was restless for weeks, and I kept praying for something positive. Thankfully, it was renewed, although it may seem like nothing now, but I was seriously thinking of how I can remain in Singapore once my PR status is revoked!

WHAT QUESTIONS DID YOU ASK?

Questions about the direction my life is headed. Questioning my priorities. Questioning my previous decisions. I think I grappled with more questions about my future more than anything else. This year I didn’t manage to keep a regular journal so my thought processes were not really organized. There were moments when I just shut down the probing questions that I knew would reveal painful answers.

 

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

[ r e f l e c t i o n ] A Simple Wish

from laineylamonto

Yes, this blog has been awfully quiet lately. There have been so many things that have happened – some enjoyable while some are just so frustrating. I was watching the news yesterday and they said that we have 62 more days till Christmas, that means today we have 68 more days until 2012. Roughly two months and a week till the new year. That’s quite fast, don’t you think so?

This year has been filled with ups and downs, but I have to admit the DOWNs  were so intense that it has clouded the memories of my UPs. I have been sicker a lot of times this year, the one thing that really frustrates me a lot is how my physical condition restrains me from doing what I want to do. And there area lot of things I want to do.

Last Friday, despite the rain I was able to help out at the opening ceremony of the Singapore Writers Festival. It was a good experience for me, and I would have attended more sessions if I weren’t injured. Tomorrow is Deepavali, and I will be fully booked as a room manager at one of the seminar rooms at SMU. I will have to get some sleep tonight to be fit for duty.

But most of all it’s been ages since I did some crafting let alone touched my supplies. I am thankful that if I were not in charge of making cards for my friends’ birthdays I would totally be not doing anything creative.

So here is my year-end list of things to do:

1. Attend a showcase by one of my favorite bands

2. Take a hike through MacRitchie Reservoir, but before that;

3. Buy running shoes

4. Finish a collage

5. Finish a roll of film from Siobhan

6. Release a zine (I am excited for this)

7. Clear of my letter back log

and after all of this, I can relax and sleep to my heart’s content! I hope that I will finish this year with a  great big BANG! Having no regrets about what happens.

[ s e e n + h e a r d ] Forever*Young Party

{ the creativity corner and the small tokens of thanks for my guests}

{ fun instax photos taken by raisa }

{ one of the candid moments that we had }

Two weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday~ with the theme FOREVER YOUNG!

It was a time of getting together my closest and dearest friends. The theme was FOREVER YOUNG, and even with little planning and coordinating, I’m so thankful that everybody had a lot of fun! We had a photobooth section, a creativity section, and a place where impromptu performances were given! We ate all my favorite comfort food, took lots of pictures with my Instax and Photobooth! Some of us even put on a show! It was by far the happiest birthday celebration I’ve spent here in Singapore! See more pictures below the cut!