A BALANCING ACT
The second half of this year has begun. I am amazed at the changes that the last three years have brought in my life. Some are welcome changes while some just…happened.
Right now I am still finding my bearings -
I started studying part-time while juggling a full-time job.
I have my once a week Korean classes.
I still want to continue blogging and writing.
I want to meet my friends at least once a month
There are many things I have let go off. People I’ve gotten close to, roles that I am used to doing, responsibilities that I am used to fulfilling. It’s not with pain and tears that I have let them go. But at this season on my life, I have to prioritize – not that they weren’t important.
My goals may have changed. My direction may have altered. But my destination still remains the same. I am just taking a different route.
ACCEPTING A NEW SEASON
To be honest this past few months have been hard on me. I have been exploring and experimenting a lot. But it has left me even more confused. There are days when I just want to be left alone, to figure things out without the different voices that clamor for my attention.
When stripped to the bare minimum I realize two things. The first is that the previous two years were more on EXPERIENCING while this next season of my life is LEARNING.
Volunteering at Singapore Writers Festival and meeting F. Sionil Jose (one of my literary inspirations), being a photographer for press conferences and showcases, performing in a pub, writing a play for a youth camp, being an assistant team leader for another youth camp, there were so many things that I have experienced. Most recently I was able to watch one of my favourite Japanese rock bands – ONE OK ROCK perform here in Singapore. This was my first time standing with a few hundred people swaying our heads to the music, the songs catapulting us into a new dimension. I had aches and was sore all over but it was definitely one of the most impacting moments of my life.
Last year and the start of this year was full of things to experience – particularly feeding my interest in music (KOREAN AND JAPANESE) and musicals (WICKED, LION KING, BIBAP). But this will take a backseat because right now I feel that it’s time for me to dig deep in the well of knowledge.
As much as my time allows, I want to go on workshops and lessons. Right now I have to cut back on going for workshops since I already have a full plate with my part-time studies and Korean classes. I am a firm believer in improving oneself so I am striving towards getting the fullest experience in my education. Aside from that I made a list of things that I want to learn – both new and present skills that I want to improve on.
But this of course needs more time, so I am also learning how to manage my time effectively. Time management isn’t one of my strongest suits and in just a week I have fallen sick trying to cope with a full schedule.
Aside from this I want to learn how to strengthen my faith. I want to be a rock that won’t be shaken. I am human and there’s just not much I can do with my own strength.
But I will hold on to His promise, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need.My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”