[ r e f l e c t i o n ] The Road Least Taken

Hello dear readers,

I know I have not regularly blogged for this year. But I quite like my pace now. This whole year has been a whirlwind of events leaving me with less and less time to create and write. The only times I have written were the times that a deadline was hanging over my head. Still, I am thankful for doors that have opened to me this year. Significant changes that make me feel that things are falling into place.

MOVING ON.

Being exposed to different situations and meeting a lot of interesting people – the path that I want to take has become clearer. For far too long I have either been stalling or treading slowly on a path that is not meant for me. Maybe because most of the people who are close to me are on the same journey and I know nothing outside of it. But as the years pass by, something inside of me has always struggled – though I feel that I am fulfilled and purposeful there’s also a nagging feeling that I am exerting my energies in a vision that is not mine.

Yesterday, I was talking with a good friend about how I want to take a different direction from them. Instead of the support that I expected, that friend implied that I was lowering my standards and preferred a life marked with mediocrity. I was deeply grieved and a bit offended. On the bus ride home I was trying to understand the words spoken to me – it was as if I was “giving up”, it was as if the only correct way to live was to take the path they had chosen.

I fought and reasoned myself on my decision to go with my heart, a decision that was marked with prayers and careful thinking. The plans I now have may not be the same with them, but my vision has the same goal. It’s sad when the status quo has been ingrained in someobody’s mind that any other approach is considered inferior.

If that friend had asked me of my plans or the dream that I want to see fulfilled, he will see that I wasn’t lowering myself to the ordinary nor the mundane. But instead I was shut down and had to take a defensive stance. I realize now that I must be prepared to the skeptical and cynical reactions and that there are sacrifices to be made to make my dream come true. Like the quote above said, I must be prepared to be alone and to endure failure.

Still, I am thankful for that conversation because more than ever, my resolve has gotten stronger. If we always accept every piece of advice given or unsolicited there will be no breakthroughs nor accomplished goals in our lives.
This is me signing off for tonight full of hope and filled with dreams!

[ s h o t s ] Living and Working

Major changes, paradigm shifts and 180-degree turns.

But they are happy changes. I just sometimes wish life would slow down a bit, to let me take it all in. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that it’s 2012. I wish I can hold moments a bit longer for me to appreciate them.

I guess it needs more a conscious effort for me.

[ s h o t s ] Lights Will Guide You Home

pictures:IKEA // lyrics: Coldplay, Matchbox Twenty &John Mayer

[ r e f l e c t i o n ] From Tea & Company

 

Combined work and play today who knew that it would be possible in my life right now? A group of us settled over at Starbucks and I shared a table with a good friend. Both of us ordered a grande green tea latte and we sunk into our own work – she was preparing for an exam while I was writing up proposals for a skit. Occasionally one of us would look up from what we were doing and engage the other for a chat, but then we’d also return to our tasks. We were distracted by a cute little boy and his equally adorable older sister, I am guessing they were between the ages of three and five, they were quite well-behaved and had the most infectious laughter and heart-melting smile that more than once I found myself directing funny facial expressions at them to elicit their giggles instead of focusing on my own work.

The green tea latte did wonders for my creativity, or maybe it has been a long time since I really sat down and wrote something, but I wrote four proposals. The one thing I realized and surprised me today was – there were still stories inside of me.

I have been reluctant to write lately because I feel my well of creative inspiration has run dry. It seemed like whenever I set down to write something, whether it was a poem, a story or even a piece of microfiction, I couldn’t draw it out from me. I was struggling through putting my thoughts into paper that I turned my back on my morning pages because I felt it was a futile exercise. There were times when I caught slivers of a “voice” or a vague story but they would be quick to disappear just like mist, if I didn’t  write it down as soon as the idea presented itself in my mind. Even blogging has become a chore for me, and I couldn’t think of anything to blog about. Aside from scarcity of ideas, I was paralyzed by a fear of not being able to say anything worth saying.

When I was offered to write a skit, I had mixed feelings. Where would I find ideas? Specifically fresh ideas? I have not written a script in almost a year, and  probably the only serious writing I ever did was “Last Farewell” which has been in “draft” mode since I posted it.

Turns out I had nothing to fear, maybe the Muse has once again looked favorably on me or it was because I had really struggled and mulled over the theme that not just one nor two but four ideas came in. What is strange is that they did not enter merely through a string of words but they came as pictures and sounds in my mind, like trailers or teasers.

In fact I was writing feverishly of what I was seeing that I didn’t realize that I was depleting the power on my netbook. I didn’t bring the power cable because I didn’t think that I would be busy typing!

I really hope that I can write more in the coming days. Two  of my goals that I really want to take seriously before the year ends are to write more and to take more photos.

This script will be the start of re-igniting my passion for writing, and maybe just to be on the safe side, I will drink more tea!

[ i n s t a x ] week five: elle + elmo

WEEK FIVE: ELLE + ELMO

Although my favorite Sesame Street characters are Bert and Ernie, Elmo is in the top five! I couldn’t resist taking a picture with this cute red furball!